Monologue (Part 1)

I always get excited on the thought of it.

It's not gross, really. It's plain elation.

BRAINY

I first discovered my interest upon watching the movie, Hannibal. I was so amazed and impressed with the scene where Dr. Lecter Hannibal opened the victim's head exposing its brain and then slowly, cut a portion to and placed it on cooking pan in front of his victim... and ACTUALLY fed it to his victim!

Isn't that amazing?!?

It's not really gross. GROSS is something like eating pig intestines on the stick, called isaw! You aren't even sure of the cleanliness on preparing the food. Worse more, if they were infected with tapeworms... now that's really GROSS!

BLOODY

I used to suck the blood out of my wounds, finger cuts in particular. The taste of blood isn't bland. It's actually salty. But I don't sip and then gulp. Blood clots to get rid of the infected blood so why in the world would I take it back in my sytem?! I just suck until the blood stops flowing and spit it out into the sink along with running water, simultaneously gargling to get rid of the taste. It wasn't the best thing I had tasted but not worse.

CUT, CUT, CUT

I've been always fascinated with cutter. I've never learned how to use one, actually. But I would always buy and bring with me one.

Yesterday, I finally learned how to use it without actually shedding off blood all over my hands. Back then, I used to cut my fingers when I try to make 1/4 sheets out of the whole paper. I used to freak out at the sight of blood running on my little fingers. But as I became used to it, I've thought of and actually tried to let the blade touch and cut through my finger. Then I would eagerly suck the blood out and ran to the sink to spit it out.