Ghost = Brain Damage

I can see my eyebags as I stare at my reflection on the monitor. I certainly look wretched this morning.

Nothing unusal happened. Except that I didn't do my piled-up schoolworks yesterday, and instead, read another YA fic, which I had just bought out of curiosity. Again.

I'm feeling sleepy. My eyes are drooping. It's not that I didn't get a decent sleep. I finished the book by 1:10 in the morning, according to my mobile phone. The next thing I know I was rushing towards the bathroom as soon as I woke up after realizing I was 30 minutes late for an appointment.

Appointment, my ass. It's more of a routine. No, actually it's a task. An obligation. A responsibility. Call it whatever you like. But to us, it's what we call labwork.

Anyway, I'm already hungry. I skipped, no, I've completely forgotten my dinner because I was so engrossed with reading the stubborn fifteen-year-old girl who comes from a family of psychics and who happens to be the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter, and therefore is a kind of powerful pyschic yet pretending she's not, and is quite good in ignoring all the ghosts coming to her for help except for a stubborn seventeen-year-old boy who died falling off a cliff a year ago, an accident, yes, and who suddenly appeared on the first day of her high school in her new school, and showed up from behind the sarcastic and another stubborn guy in her History class, who happens to be the ghost's favorite younger brother, but biologically speaking, is his cousin, because he wants to relay his message so that he can finally "move on somewhere" after "crossing over", a message which is a sort of a "it's-not-you're-fault-that-i-died" because they had a fight the day the ghost died --- I mean, the boy became a ghost. But this was all because of Edna who's trying to help Sparrow embrace her destiny as a powerful psychic. She, Edna, at the end of the story, is actually both Sparrow's and Luke's spiritual adviser.

Reading this book convinced me that I was right about my thoughts, i.e. my so-called death last year, followed shortly by my rebirth. The dead, according to the fictitious dead Luke, tells Sparrow the things I've knew and learned and realized and thought about way, way back... when Sparrow was asking him about being dead.

Following this reasoning, does this prove then that I'm also just another fictitious character who happened to have transformed into some kind of an almost human being capable of thinking whereas the truth is I'm just imagining that I'm living in this big, big world, which makes it actually a big, big lie? And everything I'm saying up to this very moment, and all of my perceptions are all created by this megalomaniac deranged mind who thinks it has a human brain?